Be happy ! 
Don't worry !
But if you must worry,  here are the rules . . .
 
        

The Worrying Doctrine

Write down everything that you want to worry about.

Pick one hour per week, anytime that you desire, to do nothing but worry about the things on your list.

Note: No other time is acceptable once a predetermined
time is established - should something prevent you from
utilizing that time period for worrying, you must wait
until that period arrives the following week.

Never, under any circumstances, worry before noon
 or after 5 PM, Monday through Friday or before 10 AM
 or after 8 PM on Saturday, Sunday, or Holidays.

Never, under any circumstances worry while at work, or
while working on work materials or business related items.

If you insist on worrying, this immediately disqualifies your spouse or any other family member in the same household, from worrying. . . only ONE worrier per household is allowed.

If any other member of the family wishes to assume the
responsibility as the OFFICIAL WORRIER, you may
relinquish the position, but immediately you are disqualified
from future worrying.  In this event, you must adhere to
the above schedule and list all of your worries for the
appointed WORRIER to worry about for you.

You must never put on your list, or entertain worrying about things over which you have absolutely no control.

 As a WORRIER, upon acceptance and association with any other group, club, association, etc., you must adhere to the above principles and monitor those with whom you associate,
that they do also.

Severe penalties for "Not Worrying Properly"
must be administered.

       

Written By: Mark R. Hagood
© 1965, 1970, 1995, 2000
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