A DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN

	Argument (argyoument):n.	A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.
	Airhead (er*head): n.	What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a Police Officer.
	Bar-be-que (barbiq): n.	You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up - but he "made the dinner."
	Blonde jokes (blond joks):n.	Jokes that are short so men can understand them.
	Cantaloupe (kantelope):n.	Gotta' get married in a church.
	Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer):n.	An appliance designed to eat socks.
	Diet soda (dyit soda):n.	A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.
	Eternity (eterni*tee):n.	The last two minutes of a football game.
	Exercise (exersiz): v.	To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.
	Grocery list (growseree list): n	What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.
	Hair dresser (hare dres*er): n.	Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."
	Hardware store (hard*war stor): n.	Similar to a black hole in space - if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.
	Childbirth (child*brth): n.	You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say, "focus....breathe...push..."
	Lipstick (lip*stik): n.	On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!
	Park (park): v./n.	Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.
	Patience (pa*shens): n.	The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."
	Waterproof mascara (wahtrpruf maskarah): n.	Comes off if you cry, shower or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.
	Valentine's Day (valentinez dae): n.	A day when you have dreams of a candle light dinner, diamonds and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.