Be very suspicious if the advertised price of a Caribbean cruise includes the phrase "Free Ammo".

  Consider carefully before visiting a country where the license plate motto is "Die American Pig".

  There is no legitimate reason for a travel agent to need to know if you have experience in jungle warfare.

  If you find yourself in Iran, do not use the word blanket-head.

 On a trip to Canada, your travel agent should not charge you for an interpreter.

  While in the Vatican, do not refer to St. Peter as "Petey-Boy."

  Do not board a cruise ship if passengers are being issued oars.

  Avoid any Latin American Tour named Bay of Pigs II.

  In South America, say "no" to anyone wanting you to deliver a suitcase of powdered sugar to their grandmother in Miami.

  Legitimate travel agents do not dress in foreign military uniforms.

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